


Project F

by garlicbug



Category: Nier Gestalt | Nier
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Ensemble Cast, Gen, Not A Fix-It, Original Character(s), Papa Nier, Post-ending C
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garlicbug/pseuds/garlicbug
Summary: [SPOILERS]Two years after the death of the Shadowlord, Nier takes one last, desperate chance to save Yonah from the Black Scrawl. If he does nothing, his daughter will die, and if the "androids" were telling the truth, he's doomed the world already. What the hell does he have left to lose?He's about to find out.





	1. Two Years Ago / Crucible

**Author's Note:**

> I originally had this story idea after playing through NIER years ago. I was reminded of it last month, and though a lot of my plans for the project were overly ambitious and/or bad, there was enough about it I still found interesting that I decided to give writing it another shot.  
> ... Well, there are other reasons I'm writing an incredibly long fan fiction about an eight year old video game. Maybe I'll share them if I manage to finish this.
> 
> I don't use many AO3 tags, for two reasons. One, to avoid spoilers. Two, walls of tags make my eyes glaze over! Here is the essential information:  
>  **Setting** : Papa Nier, post-Ending C, plays fast and loose with setting lore. Headcanons/speculation/author bias/wanton making-things-up abounds.  
>  **Pairings** : ~~NieR Is A Harem Game~~ Nier/Kainé is invoked among others, but shipping isn't the focus of the story.  
>  **Warnings** : Violence, strong themes of death/illness, swearing, canon-typical doom, and other disturbing themes not explicitly described. If you can handle the game, Grimoire NieR's short stories and the drama CD, you'll probably be okay.  
>  **Updates** : Aiming for one chapter a weekend, but ~~may~~ will vary.  
>  **Concrit** : I'm Australian and we use British English = lots of extra Us are a feature, not a bug. Apart from that, constructive criticism is awesome and I love it.  
>  **Legalese** : The NieR series is the property of Square-Enix, and this is an unofficial work of fan fiction.
> 
> OK, we'll move.

* * *

  **\- Two Years Ago -**

 

Kainé's voice rang through the hall and reverberated within him.

_Thank you_.

Against the regret and gratitude and emotion too immense to name rushing upon him, he never had a chance. It was all he could do to say her name.

The wind battered the heavy curtains. Above his head, the ancient lamps crackled and hissed like candles, burning for centuries. Their hum couldn't fill the empty space.

She never liked long goodbyes, did she?

Her Lunar Tear had fallen at his feet, like he dropped it himself. He picked it up and its stalk felt dry as paper between his calloused fingers. Delicate, but not fragile, every petal as white as the clouds shimmering through the windows before him.

She hadn't said much when he gave the flower to her, with Emil's skeletal face radiating joy and Weiss badly hiding his relief beside them. But she wore it behind her ear ever since, even when thick, rank blood matted her pale hair across her elegant face as it twisted in... something he had thought was satisfaction.

How the hell did it make it this far? Through so much violence, after they all lost so much… He lost track of how many days it had been since he cut its stem, and it had grown only more beautiful.

He would never see Kainé again--or Emil, or Weiss. But his devotion to them burned in his chest, stronger than ever.

He held up the Lunar Tear and it glowed brighter than the sun.

"We'll always…” Yeah, he knew what to say now. “… be together."

Its warmth filled him, when the light that hurt to look at left him cold--

A shadow flicked across his vision.

Nier blinked. Vivid motes whirled in the corners of the room, out of sight. Shaking his head only made the disorientation worse. What were the ruins he saw through the ashen mist? Where was he?

His heartbeat pounded through his temples, against his mask. He dropped his arms to his sides, groaning with pain and irritation. The ache etched into his limbs was already growing familiar, and staring into the sun like he an eye to spare wouldn’t help. Where he was didn’t matter when he knew the way back.

He tucked the flower into his belt. It would be fine there. The Shades would leave him alone, if they had as much damn sense as he’d been told. He had only one thing to worry about, now.

"Yonah?"

Her name rumbled over the wind. Again, no reply.

He glanced from the bed in the corner, the sickly tree and the pile of rubber wheels, to the towering metal doors he longed to walk through. "Where are you?”

“I'm--" She spluttered, the echoes of her coughing surrounding him.

"Yonah!"

"I'm okay!" A faint, sharp gasp for air. "I'm over here!"

He found her huddled in the corner of the hall, hiding behind a curtain. She sat with her knees under her chin, her legs hidden under that slip of a dress. Her long limbs looked awkward in such a childish pose, but her whispers were just as he remembered. “I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry.”

She didn't cough. No dark letters crawled over her arms, or across her neck. She had cried out with no breath only in her rush to reassure him. Hiding in the constant wind, she must have been freezing... too weak to try the doors, too exhausted to run any further. Or too scared. He hated seeing the guilt in her eyes.

He forced his hands to unclench, and kneeled beside her. "Don't worry about it." He gently rubbed her back, the way he used to sooth her after the worst coughing fits. He felt every bump of her ribs and spine through her skin and the drab silk. “Hiding was the smart thing to do. Are you hurt?"

"No." Yonah wrapped her arms around his neck. Her heard fell forward against his chest. “But I’m really tired.”

"You were asleep for a long time." Nier wasn't certain what happened to her, didn’t want to think about it, but that seemed close enough to the truth. He lifted her up with him as he got to his feet and took her hands in his own, like he did when she was learning to walk. "You'll feel better soon."

She was looking at their hands, just like he was. Her fingers were longer, more slender, still tiny compared to his own. Part of him still couldn't believe he had found her at last.

“Kainé died, didn’t she?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

He let her walk a few steps away, to process what happened. Broken tiles scraped together under her bare feet. What else could he say? Yonah was so sensitive, and she'd been through so much already.

She stood on her toes and tried to peer over his shoulders. “Where’s Weiss?”

There was no point in putting it off. “He died, too. So did Emil.”

"Oh." She looked down and her long hair hid her face. "I guess... I guess if it weren’t for m--"

"No." He strode to her before she could say another word and put his hands on her shoulders. "The Shadowlord took you away, and he threw every Shade he had at us to stop us finding you. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened.”

She stared past him, at that damn bed. How long had that bastard made her sleep?

“Yonah, look at me.” He forced the anger down. He needed to earn her trust, not scare her. “It’s not your fault. Promise me you won't blame yourself.”

"... Okay." Yonah's gaze wavered.

"Promise?" He had to hear her say it. They both had to know this.

She nodded solemnly, eyes focused on him at last. ”I promise. You know…”

“Mm?”

”She sure was a lot different to how I imagined.”

"Heh." Gods, he might be a jerk, but it felt good to want to laugh again. At least Kainé would’ve found it funny, too. Probably. It gave him an idea, which didn’t happen too often. “Hey, she wanted me to give you something.”

Though the flower proved more resilient than he expected, he never was comfortable with such small, finicky things. It looked more at home in Yonah’s palm.

She gasped, her eyes widening. ”A Lunar Tear?”

"It belonged to Kainé. So take good care of it for her, alright?”

“I will!” She cradled it to her chest. “I’ll do it for everyone! Um, who was Emil, again?”

It took him a moment to remember she knew Emil only as the boy who lived in the manor. ”I'll tell you about him.” His hand moved to her back and they walked, finally, toward the doors. It would take time to find a way out of the castle, but the hardest part was over. "I'll tell you about all of them."

"It must have been--" She softly cleared her throat. "It must have been a big adventure."

"Mm. Enough bedtime stories for a year."

"No way, Dad!" She laughed and for the first time she sounded fifteen years old. "You'll give me nightmares!” She grabbed his hand again and grinned up at him, a drop of ichor smeared unnoticed across her cheek. “Stay home and tell me stories all day instead, okay?”

His heart froze.

Yonah was still...

The Black Scrawl hadn't gone...

Yonah was still going to...

Don’t blame yourself, he had told her. Never look back, he had told Emil. Things like that were easy to say and so hard to believe, even for him. Especially for him.

All the terror, the rage, the betrayals, the despair, the truth too immense to make sense of… Every second that passed since he killed the Shadowlord leeched the warmth from his body.

Once again, his friends were the only ones standing with him, but no longer against the Shadowlord.

If it weren't for those embers in his heart… If it weren't for Yonah...

But Yonah was here now. His friends gave everything for him to see her again. He couldn’t waste their sacrifice, not now.

He forced reassurance to appear on his face. Don't say anything.

“Dad?”

He lifted his hand and rested his thumb against her cheek. Don't scare her.

Yonah's smile grew puzzled at the way he wiped her face, like she was a baby covered with food. The stain was gone. Blood was on his fingers now, but he was used to that. It was okay.

“… Dad?”

He rubbed his hand clean on his belt. It was okay. “You know what?”

He knew how forced his question sounded, but Yonah only looked faintly baffled. Her expression was one of a child whose father was being weird. He was going to have to get used to that; it was only going to keep happening as she grew older.

"You're right. We both deserve a holiday.”

He would have to pick his way home between the Shades and the strange old ruins, but the years of struggle and desperation were finally over. They would always be together.

The iron doors opened…

 

* * *

>   
>  ``  
>  **AUTOMATED UPDATE** PRIORITY 1 ALL USERS NOTIFIED  
>  Error: (00000004)  
>  CATASTROPHIC FAILURE: PROJECT G NON-VIABLE (Original Gestalt lost)  
>  EPICENTRE SET TO: ████████ 
> 
> `PROJECT F STATUS: ON STANDBY `  
> 

* * *

**\- Crucible -**

 

“GodDAMMIT!”

Nier’s boot finally cracked the metal door open and he stumbled into the ancient corridor, Emil after him. Half a mountain’s worth of snow crashed down behind them, smothering the wind and screaming Shades in an instant.

He staggered a few more steps and hit the wall, which he was grateful for because he would have fallen on his face with Yonah still on his back otherwise. He would’ve gotten up eventually and there wasn’t really anything he could do to his face to make it worse, but still….

“I’m really sorry,” said Emil sheepishly. “I’m sure that was the right combination… maybe there were two locks… anyway, next time I’ll just kick the door down, hehehe!” That was definitely a hysterical giggle. “It seems to work the most often!”

“You’re…” Nier braced himself on the wall with his good arm and wheezed. The air burned, his legs burned, and that meant he was still alive, if nothing else. “You’re doing… great, Emil.”

Emil grinned at him. It was hard for Emil to do anything else. “We’re all doing great! We’re almost there.”

The bundle on Nier’s back shifted and coughed. Nier straightened up and began walking down the hall. He could catch the rest of his breath walking. “You know… Weiss told me once… snow is ice falling from the sky?”

“Really?” Emil drifted alongside him, his robes rippling and shedding ice. “It felt like a sandstorm, only colder.”

“I didn’t believe him then and I don’t believe him now.” Nier wiped his nose with the red scarf he’d wrapped around his face. The scarf hadn’t done crap; his wind-burned skin stung and his mouth tasted of salt. He had to admit, the hooded cloak and the gloves and boots were essential after all, even if they were a pain to fight in. “How you holding up, Yonah?”

“Mm…” The bundle shifted again. She had slept through brutal weather, marauding Shades and what Emil had, very quickly, taught him was an avalanche. “… huh?”

“Never mind, go back to sleep.” He readjusted the sling’s knots around his chest, trying not to jostle her. “We’re almost there.”

The three of them carried on through the corridors without another word. Nier didn’t count the minutes it took. He barely registered the pipes on the walls and the signs in languages no one could read any more. They were all the same to him, these days. He only hoped they would reach their goal before Yonah really woke up. He’d given her the last of the sedatives to get her through the climb, and when they wore off she would be in too much pain to even cry. He stopped thinking about it, and instead stared at Emil’s skeletal feet hovering in front of him, until they came to a stop in front of an elevator.

“There's no buttons,” Emil said. “The grimoire said what we want is below, but nothing about how to turn this on. Can you help?”

Nier nodded. All it took was a sword’s blade wedged between the doors and his body weight. The doors slid open with unusual ease, and he peered into the darkness. “How deep is that?”

“About three hundred meters. Guess it can’t be helped.” Emil lifted his staff, and Nier found himself and his daughter gently lifted from the ground within a blue sphere. “One moment!”

Nier remembered this trick. The memory wasn’t a happy one.

But Emil was here and as alive as an immortal stone skeleton could be, gently nudging the bubble into the shaft, then hopping in with them as it sank into the darkness. “There we go! Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just wondering if you knew how to do this before we climbed a mountain.”

“If I tried this out there the wind would bounce us across the Western continent like a rubber ball! That’s no fun, and I should know.”

“I’ll take your word for it then.” All he could see in the light of the sphere were featureless concrete slabs on all sides. “Can it go any faster?”

“Hmmm, I haven’t experimented with this spell much, but maybe I could take away the bubble and let us free fall for a few hundred fe—“

“No! No. No, thank you, this is fine.”

“Well, if you change your mind…."

“Daddy.” Yonah stirred in her sling, her blanket’s rustle loud in the silence. She lifted her hand and placed it on his shoulder, a habit she picked up since she became too weak to walk herself. “I’m cold.”

She was wearing all the clean clothes she had left. He knew three pairs of leggings hung off her ankles, under the sling an the blankets. He couldn’t warm her up. He reached back instead, squeezing her hand, completing the gesture. “Just a little further.”

“He’s right!” Emil turned his head at an angle like he was an odd bird. “I can feel it!”

Nier could feel it too. Or was that wishful thinking? Even just a few years ago he wouldn’t be in such bad shape. He was slowing down, getting older—

No, he felt like crap because he just carried his sick daughter up a snowy mountain, hounded by Shades the whole way. They would be chasing him down this pit if it weren’t for the avalanche. Of course it would be painful. When had anything come easily to him? When had that ever stopped him?

They landed upon a dull metal surface, the top of the useless elevator. The bubble vanished and the cables gave a skin-crawling creak under the weight of his feet, but it was simple enough to find the trap door and drop through.

These doors were more difficult to open. Nier leaned his whole body weight against his sword, grimacing with exertion and pain. They popped open abruptly with a hiss of air and he fell to one knee. Yonah made a muffled noise of surprise. Damn, he got here just in time, nether of them had much left.

“See, we made it!” Emil held his hand out to him.

Funny to think the kid was helping him up. A lot had changed in the last few months, and he took his hand gratefully, unthinking—Emil pulled his arm and pain arced from his wrist, through his shoulder and all the way down his spine. “Nnggh—“

“Oh, sorry. Guess I’m stronger than I thought… wait, you’re bleeding! Are you okay!?”

Damn, he hoped he wouldn’t notice. “It’s fine,” he said, waving it off.

“That’s not fine! When did that happen?”

“Bottom of the mountain. It looks worse than it is.” Emil didn’t have to know that he couldn't quite close the fingers of his left hand any more. Maybe if Popola was still around she could fix it when they got home, but… Oh well, at least he had one good arm left. He pulled himself onto his feet. “Yonah’s waking up. I’ll treat it after we do this.”

Emil shook his head and tutted, like he was the responsible adult—he probably was at this point, in a sense—but he dropped the issue. He took Yonah’s weight, and lifted her slowly to the floor as Nier untied the knots of the sling.

Yonah was far too light for a girl of her age, but he was grateful to have her weight off her back. He took off the cloak and wiped the blood dripping from his left shoulder with the sling—he wouldn’t be using it again, anyway. Typical, really, the one time he left his old armour off was the one time he could have done with it... no, stop thinking about it. “So, this is the Crucible?”

“Through that door.”

Emil had shown him the diagrams in that book, but the place was plainer than he had imagined. Bigger than his house, smaller than the library. The wall opposite them was ugly green-grey metal, covered with pipes and cables and indecipherable ancient letters. Every other surface, from ceiling to floor, were shining white tiles, illuminated by the strange long tube lamps he often saw in places like this. From certain angles he could see scuff marks on the floor. Hundreds of people might have been here before them. Now, it was empty.

The door was a heavy, mechanical looking thing with a square handle and a tiny viewport, but the only lock was the red magical seal in the shape of a circle, slowly spinning in front of it as it probably had for centuries. “Been a while since I’ve seen one of those,” Nier remarked. “You know how to open this door, right?”

“Yep!” Emil took the silent grimoire from his robes. It hovered before him through Emil’s magic, not of its own volition. It hadn’t moved or spoken at all since Emil found it. Something about it still creeped Nier out. It’s face—a bug-eyed thing with a mouth opened wide, embossed in copper on the burnt orange cover—seemed to stare accusingly at him as Emil flipped through its pages.

“Here we are.” Whatever Emil found, the purple sparks of his magic floated about him, and the seal disappeared. The door opened an inch and a shrill wind whistled through the gap, strong enough to flutter Nier’s hair under the brim of his hood. The air was fresh, but it chilled his lungs. Yonah shivered in his arms and buried her face in her blankets. He shouldered the door open and looked through.

This was more like he expected. The Crucible was an giant hole in the middle of the mountain—whether a dead volcano or man-made or something else, he didn’t know or care. The crater rose to the very top of the mountain, much higher than they had climbed, and it had been lined with white shining panels like the antechamber. Only a few had fallen away, revealing the dark grey of the mountain’s core. Below the narrow walkway they stood on, the basin of the crater was filled with ice and a thin layer of fresh snow, melting and glittering in the daylight.

He was barely aware of two other patches of metal around the basin, the remaining two corners of a imaginary triangle Emil's diagram had showed him, with their own white pathways. In the middle was a featureless circular platform. Pristine and shining, it was different to the ruins and artefacts he’d seen before—built in another age, from completely different materials, by different people. Perhaps in a time when the world wasn't dying....

“It’s funny, you know,” Emil said. “Usually in a place like this, there’s a really tough foe we have to fight, isn’t there? We sure are lucky today!”

“Yeah. Lucky. What now?”

Emil flicked through the grimoire's pages. "Like I said, if my magic provides the initial power, the process will run by itself. So...."

"Mm?"

"Do you want to go ahead with this? I mean..." Emil winced, curling his cloak around himself. "I know we already talked about it, but... if this doesn't cure her, who knows what it will do?"

That was true. They didn't know.

All Nier knew was that this was the only lead Emil found in the incomprehensible documents hidden in the basement of the library. Emil had screamed through Seafront to find him, not minding the literal screams of the people who saw him, and banged on his door, then broke through a window with his head when Nier was too slow in coming. His urgency was all too understandable; Yonah couldn't get out of bed at that point.

The grimoire was mostly nonsense, but Emil decrypted enough to learn of an ancient laboratory on the Western continent. Details were sparse, but the grimoire was clear on one thing—it had the power to summon healing light, return life to the dying, and the grimoire had the spells to do it.

He knew better than to trust books blindly, but…

He looked down at Yonah's face. Even tucked away in all the scarves and shawls he could find, he could see there was no colour left in her, except for the black letters crawling under her skin like worms.

If this one last-ditch effort didn't cure her, this would have to be her deathbed. He couldn't put her through this suffering any longer. He'd have to explain that to Emil, and he'd have to be the one to... to....

"I want to." Yonah's words were so quiet, he barely heard them above the whistling breeze. She gave a harsh cough, spluttering, and looked up at him. The harsh light showed how gaunt she was, her cheekbones protruding. ”I want to do it."

"You heard her, Emil. Just point the way.”

“Take her over there.” Emil gestured with his staff to the circular platform. “Then come back and I’ll cast the spell. Easy, right? See you soon, Yonah!”

“Bye, Em—“ She coughed again and again, and Nier began walking before she kept trying to talk. Emil would understand.

His footsteps thudded on the path with a solidity that surprised him, considering how thin it looked. Or maybe it was just the boots, or being inside a mountain. Whoever built this place, even he could tell it was an artefact of extraordinary power. Enough power to save Yonah? Gods, please let it be enough.

Yonah kept coughing. The medicine was wearing off. He gave her the last of that this morning, too.

The Black Scrawl swarmed over every part of skin that was visible. It crawled under her face and he saw black letters moving within her mouth as she tilted her head back and gasped for air.

And he thought he was stubborn. His heart swelled with pride, even as it broke to see her suffer. She clung to life with a tenacity that exceeded his own.

So, this would work.

This had to work.

Why should it work? His mind whispered treacherous things like that more often now, as his daughter grew weaker, as she kept dying. Why should she be the exception? What had _he_ , of all people, done to deserve her life?

But this time, in this place, the snow had stopped for a while. When he looked up through the mountain—and he realised that was what Yonah was doing as she struggled for breath, her eyes wide and bloodshot and yet still amazed—the sky was as blue and warm as he remembered it from years ago, happier times.

For the first time in… two years? Seven? For the first time in a long while, he had hope.

He reached the platform. Kneeling down, he slid Yonah onto the floor as softly as he could.

She tried to hug him, her hands flailing weakly at his feet. “Where are you going?”

"I'm still here, Yonah." He laid her on her side so she could breath more easily, putting the blankets under her head, wiping the clotted blood and snot and tears away. “I have to leave for a moment for the spell to work, but I’ll be right back.”

"I... I'm really cold... And it hurts…”

“Yonah…" He brushed a straggled strand of her hair behind her ear. “You’ve done so well. I'm proud of you."

She seemed surprised, but in too much pain for any emotion to show anywhere except in those beautiful grey eyes.

"I'll be waiting for you with Emil. This won't take long, and when it's done, you'll be cured.”

“Promise?”

Cured, one way or another. “I promise.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He stepped away, not wanting to turn his back on her at first, though he knew he couldn’t really afford to not look where he was going on such a narrow path. It was fine for a few moments, and then her hand stretched out across the smooth surface, as if feeling it, or reaching out for him to stay.

“Dah… Dad…”

He almost ran back to the antechamber, passed Emil and stared wordlessly at the wall. His hands—no, his arms, his entire body shook. He stayed there while Emil closed the door behind him. The wind and the sound cut out, replaced by metal clanking and the sounds of magic, flipping pages, Emil’s anxious murmurs.

Emil had already taken on so much for him. He didn’t need to deal with a forty five year old man falling to pieces on top of everything else. He closed his good eye, breathing slowly and deeply through his nose, until the noises quieted down. Fear’s grip on his body slackened, and he could trust himself to turn around.

The magic seal on the door had returned. “You can watch through this.” Emil tapped his finger on the viewport of the door, a tiny little window lined with thick glass. “If you want to.”

Yonah looked so small and far away. Nier rested his hand against the magical seal and watched her. Whether this worked or not, no matter how he feared for her or what he would have to do, he would see through the consequences of his actions.

”Are we ready?” Emil’s voice betrayed his worry.

“Emil….” Without taking his eyes off the window, he reached out and patted Emil’s head. It was stone, but warm to the touch, like always. “Thanks. Thanks for everything.”

“Oh, uh…” The boy was probably a little embarrassed, the way Nier saw his head tilted down to hide his perpetual grin under his scarf. “I mean, you don’t have to thank me. I’m just happy to… you know.”

“I know.” Nier turned back to the window. “Let’s do it.”

Emil moved back, out of Nier’s reach, and began the incantation. He hadn't got two syllables in when something, machinery or magic or both, drowned out his voice with a low, droning hum.

Half of the light tubes flickered out, the rest turned blue. Nier glanced at Emil and saw the violet energy spinning up from his body burned white and intense, building around the silent grimoire as it floated higher and swung back and forth in the air. Nothing like Weiss, or the others; it was nothing but a tool, a conduit, and this place was responding—

Something within the Crucible cracked, a sound just like the avalanche. Nier’s gaze snapped back to the tiny window. The basin’s ice had melted in seconds, becoming a pool of water through which he saw the silver of metal.

The hum softened. The walkways retracted into the walls with a snap, taking the platform with them and leaving Yonah in the air for a split second. He heard her muffled shriek and saw…

Her toes dipped into the water. All those ragged clothes and rough blankets he wrapped her in rose around her, as light as spider webs. The water drew into the air in spheres, rain drops in reverse, and Yonah lifted into the air with them.

Floating, Yonah looked at the door he stood behind, and he could have sworn the expression on her face was excitement.

He hoped she couldn't see his face. He didn't know what it looked like, but he could feel the sweat tricking down his forehead, onto the glass, getting under his mask. His expression probably wasn’t pretty. Emil kept chanting to the book writhing above them, and all he could do was watch.

Magic sigils manifested around Yonah, dozens of them in red and white and colours too vivid to look at straight-on. They filled the space and joined each other, turning together as gears in a massive spell. Their images warped within the water spheres and mirror-like silver bowl forming the base of the Crucible, like there were machines upon machines, a machine bigger than the world, and Yonah hovered within its heart.

She looked up, and he followed her gaze to a ball of orange and white energy, as large as she was. Clearly magic, but not of any kind he had seen before. The language of the ancients were burned into its circumference in dark red letters, reflected in the basin itself.

Emil’s chant ended and he sagged against his staff. "Is... is it working?"

"It's doing something. Hey, Yonah!" He thumped his fist on the door. "If you can hear me, say something!"

Even if she could hear him, something else caught her attention. Light twisted out from the ball of magic; a white ray of light. Five rays of light, coiling around her like someone reaching into a box.

"What is that?"

"I don't know," Emil whispered. He peered through the viewport over Nier’s shoulder, almost hiding behind him. “I guess… it’s the healing light?”

“I damn well hope so.”

Yonah rested in the tendrils of magic like an egg in the palm of a hand. She spun gently between them until she faced his door again.

She gave a nod. Despite all logic and common sense, he heard her voice clearly.

“It’ll be okay."

The singularity exploded. The window glass thudded outward from the pressure of solid white light and Nier recoiled from the door. He shouted with pain but he couldn’t hear himself over the growing roar. He went to get up, already unsheathing his sword because what else could he do, when he saw the grimoire banging against the ceiling like a moth. It’s erratic movement had become rapid shuddering, it’s covers bending back and forth like it was ripping itself apart. It’s pages fell, one by one, from its binding, dripping red sparks like blood.

“Nier!” The world tinted blue and Emil was shaking him, or huddling against him in fear, or maybe both. “Nier, are you okay?”

This bubble saved Emil from Popola wiping herself from existence, but—but Yonah—

The magic seal shattered, the door buckled inward and the light dragged them in. He had the sensation of falling but all he could see was white light and pages whipping around him like dead leaves.

“I’m sorry!” Emil’s shriek was from somewhere behind him. “There’s so much of it, I can’t—!”

The bubble burst. Nier fell alone.


	2. Crucible - 2

All is white.

He stopped falling a while ago. Could have been moments, or years. Time may as well not exist.

He remembers this place, though. Or somewhere like it. Yeah, a Shade wearing Kaine’s clothes, offering a deal with a devil. His wife wrote about it. Wait, that couldn’t be right, could it? No. That didn’t matter. Why is he here again? Where is he? He’s forgotten something….

His face itches like something is crawling on him. He reaches up and traces the thick scarring over his right eye socket. No blood, but his mask is missing. He lost his sword in the explosion, too. His limbs feel weak, sleepless, he can’t control them the way he ought to—

_Your body isn’t your own, is it?_

Memory hits him. The weight returns to his body and his blood runs hot. He knows who he is and why he exists.

“Yonah!”

He turns and stares into the light, and sees nothing. He calls her name again.

"Yonah!"

As loud as he can yell, something about this place deadens his voice and his words sink into the whiteness. Strange, though. He’s not panicked, or angry, or fearful.

Nier knows she is here. All he has to do is find her. He waits for a clue, a tell. 

It’s a slow, soft hiss, like kindling in a fire.

He runs towards the sound, his heels kicking up ancient dust. His footfalls and the scraping of his armour and the unfamiliar black cloak echo off walls he can't see.

Before him, clear against the whiteness, he sees a black mark. He approaches it, cautious, but it’s no Shade. In the featureless white, he has no way to determine how big it is until he’s close enough to touch it. He could hold it in his hands.

It's his name, floating in the void.

Other words join it. He recognises a few. It’s a story about him, about Yonah, about the world they live in. There’s so many, though, and they’re appearing so fast. It’s not just a story, it’s a living swarm around him, building nests into infinity, filling his vision until white becomes black—

* * *

**\- The Crucible - 2 -**

Nier opened his eye. He blinked over and over, slowly, until absolutely certain he had woken up. He still had his mask on. Damn stupid dreams, they had never been the same since the Forest of Myth. Couldn’t even let a man pass out in peace. 

He laid face-down on a pale concrete floor. Pulling himself up onto his feet was muscle memory by this point. He’d gotten back up after being knocked down so many times now, he’d probably be able to do it out cold soon. At least he didn’t hurt too much, considering what… whatever the hell just happened.

He stood in a dim cylindrical chamber, surrounded by bits of metal, shredded cables, broken tiles and more debris. There were a few machines around, flashing tiny angry lights, but if they weren’t moving or shooting at him he didn’t care.

There were doors behind him—elevator doors—but he couldn’t leave yet. He had to find Emil and Yonah. No sense in hollering for them, he had to get his bearings first.

The pit widened gradually as it extended upwards, its sloped concrete walls turned to the white panels he remembered. Three wide metal walkways bridged the gap above him, one above the other, leading to doors with forgotten purposes. Two more walkways were broken, hanging down the walls and crumpled against the pit's floor. 

Higher than the walkways, bent scaffolding supported what had been a giant metal bowl, the basin where he left Yonah. Something had warped it shape and its edges had pulled away from the walls into ugly frills.

So he was under the Crucible, and probably fell through one of those gaps. He was lucky he came out of that only feeling like he’d been run over by a herd of goats. 

There was a huge split in the bottom of the basin, too, like the skin of a dropped tomato, through which he could see the sky growing cloudy. Great, more snow, just what he wanted for the trip home. The faster they got out of here, the better.

“Yonah?” He didn’t yell this time. Experience had taught him a little restraint. Good thing, too; from high above, on what faint mountain breeze he could still feel at the bottom of the pit, came the faint rasping chatter of Shades. If Yonah was still up there, he needed to move fast. 

“Whew, I’m glad you’re okay!” Emil was down here with him, good. “That was intense! Let’s… let’s… huh??”

Nier spotted his sword, caught under a fallen wall panel. He grabbed it, turned to look for Emil, and saw a shadow hunched under one of the fallen bridges. “Emil!” he hissed. “There’s something down here!”

“Um,” the shadow said, almost embarrassed, in Emil’s voice, “I think that’s me?”

He looked different. A little taller. Not a floating skeleton with a sphere for a head. Nier stomped through the debris, never mind the Shades. He needed to make sure he was seeing right.

Emil’s odd blue outfit Nier remembered was cut a little different. Less ruffles, more straight lines, the childish tights and breeches replaced by tall boots and trousers. All that remained of Number Seven was the magic staff he held meekly in front of him, and the patterned green scarf bunched around his neck.

"I'm not... I'm not dreaming this, am I?” Emil’s voice had changed too, ever so slightly, just a few years older. “Is this really happening?"

"Yeah, Emil. It's real. Are you alright?"

Emil nodded, but Nier wasn't so sure. The boy hunched behind the staff and stared at him with wide maroon eyes, his mouth and nose almost obscured by the scarf. He reached a hand up, not to fix the scarf but to pat his wavy, brunette hair, just a little longer than it had been. "I guess... the healing light... healed me?"

"I guess." Nier didn't know what to say. This was never a possibility they considered. That was weird, come to think of it. But he hadn’t thought of Emil's body as something that needed to be changed. He'd just been so relieved to have him by his side again, after he thought he died with the rest of them, that he wouldn’t have changed a thing. Well, if he was out of his depth, Emil looked like he was at risk of drowning, he had to say something to make him feel better. He cleared his throat. "You're looking… pretty… sharp?”

Emil’s face went from pink to red and stammered for a moment. ”I mean, I'm happy. I'm so happy, but it's so..." Emil took a deep breath and forced himself to stand tall. "I'd almost forgotten what it's like to be--oh no!!”

"What!? What's wrong!?"

Emil slapped a hand over his eyes. "What if I petrified you!? Oh my gosh, I’m so dumb! I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that, jeez!”

Oh, right. Nier sighed, and patted Emil’s shoulder. “I think we would’ve noticed if that was going to happe—“

Something rattled in the air and he looked up. One of the frayed metal pieces of the Crucible vibrated and creaked, and an object peaked over its edge. It was like a giant pearl covered in black ants, rocking back and forth and then over the edge and falling towards them.

His body moved faster than his mouth could and grabbed Emil. The boy’s new body was heavier than he expected and the fancy coat almost slipped in his hands, but Emil got the hint and his footing and they both flung themselves against the wall.

The sphere smashed the floor where they had been standing, cracking the concrete from one wall to another and trailing metal and plastic debris. It stood taller than Nier, and in the crater it left, what had been a Shade lay in a pool of thick shadows and blood. Three more Shades clung to it, alive and clawing at its cloudy surface.

Someone lay within the sphere as if asleep—the shadow of a girl in ragged clothing.

“Get away from her!”

The Shades stopped moving. Their outlines continued to drift in the dim light, flashing gold. Their yellow eyes glared at Nier, unblinking, as if had no idea what he was yelling about.

He could hear scores of them approaching, crawling down the walls and over the broken metal. They were so quiet. Huh, maybe that’s another reason they were so hard to fight up the mountain. They used to shriek, or roar, or curse him, but now nothing.

Too late for words, after all. He tested his sword in his right hand and ground his teeth. At least he knew how to handle this. He could trust Emil to keep out of their way. “I’m the one you bastards want.”

They slid to the floor and ran at him.

He stepped forward, swung his sword clean through the first Shade, doubled back and stabbed the second where its guts should have been. The third leapt at him and swung wide at his legs. Nier grabbed its head with his free hand, flung it to the ground and cut its throat.

Hey, his arm felt better, as good as new. Maybe there was something to be said for the healing light. He still had one eye missing and ached all over, but he didn’t need anything else to take these Shades down—

Five more of them dropped on top of him like spiders, their weight shoving him to his knees. Claws tore at the cloak and scraped against his back and _now_ they were shrieking.

Then they were gone, flung away in all directions by purple bolts of energy.

“I’ve still got my magic!” Emil gibbered from out of sight, more panicked than thrilled. “I’ve still got it! I’ll back you up!”

“Good, ‘cause I think we’re fighting our way out of here. Come on!” Nier grinned at the crowd growing before him, the shadows that wanted him and everything he loved dead. It wasn’t worth smiling at, but what else could he do. “Let’s get this over with!”

“Something odd is happening up there…”

“Eyes front, Emil!” Nier could hear it too, above the screeching and gushing blood and his weapon humming through the air. Another battle, more Shades. Bigger Shades. What little sunlight there was disappeared and the Shades seemed to expand, filling the space and the air itself. More were coming and they knew it too. 

It took him a few kills more to realise they weren’t fighting him like they should be. If they all rushed him at once, they might actually have a tiny bit of a chance. They were going for Yonah, climbing all over the strange sphere she slept in and beating at its hard shell with their fists.

Fresh hate filled his mouth and burned in his skull. He’d forgotten what that felt like. He didn’t hate Shades, not any more. Not really. But seeing them try to hurt her? After the hell they had just been through?

He hacked through the mass with his sword like they were overgrown vines, sensing Emil’s bolts keep the more aggressive Shades off his back in his single-minded charge.

He pulled them from the sphere and without passion or remorse drove his sword into them. There were so many, in the near darkness. Their blood slid off the sphere and into the cracks in the concrete. It filled him with a strange relief. Whatever happened to Yonah in there, it wasn’t right for her to be involved in this. If he just kept doing this long enough, she would be fine….

They were just Shades. He’d fought these countless times. Were they mindless monsters? Were they acting with some purpose? Did they recognise him and were trying to take the most important thing in his world away from him, as revenge? It didn’t matter.

They got the hint. They swept back, climbing the walls. No, something was wrong. This wasn’t a retreat.

“There’s something coming!” Emil had made it to his side. He was panting with exertion, shaking a little, but purple magic circles were already orbiting him and preparing for the next strike. At least the fight would take his mind off the shock of his new body. “I can sense it. It’s a composite!”

The Shades weren’t moving of their own accord but being drawn up through the ruined basin. Bad news. When it came to the bigger Shades—the composites—ordinary Shades either fought at its feet, or became part of its mass, making it even stronger. This looked like the latter, something so strong it compelled the others to join with it.

“I knew I shouldn’t have joked about not having a big fight for once!” Emil shook his head at himself. “I knew I jinxed us the moment I said it, eesh.”

“Heh, I forgive you.” Nier rested his hand on Emil’s back for a moment. Human, and so fragile, still so young for someone who had lived for centuries. “Keep out of the way and back me up. Make sure nothing hurts Yonah.”

“Right!”

The composite squeezed part-way through the split in the basin, a long, large, indistinct mass of shadow. Its arms, or legs, pulled the metal plates apart like the bones of a carcass and it crawled through the gap it created. It shook itself and stretched out huge butterfly wings, half the span of the pit and painted in a vivid pattern of thick gold stripes.

It wasn’t the biggest Shade Nier had ever seen, but a hell of a lot bigger than a butterfly ought to be. It flew like a butterfly, too, letting go of the basin and jerking up and down like a puppet down to them. The pattern on its wings flashed, casting golden light that reflected off the shattered surfaces of the Crucible and the sphere Yonah slept within.

Not it was closer, Nier could see… it didn’t have legs. It had arms, dozens of human arms, and as one they cast a wave of red and black orbs down upon them in a spiralling wave. 

He spotted the gaps between them, and stepped out of the way as they hit the floor and dissipated.

“Ow! Ow! Owch!”

Oh hell, Emil really was a human now. “I told you to keep out of the way!”

“It’s fine, it just stung a little! I’ve got the hang of it!” From the other side of Yonah, Emil raised his staff and a beam of purple shot through the air and through the creature’s wing.

It left no hole, but blood spilled out and the butterfly howled in a hundred voices. It fell upon the sphere, fluttering its wings close enough for Nier to reach out and touch it, but he knew what Shades felt like.

Instead he dashed towards it and targeted its body. Not pretty, but from the sounds it made and the blood that spilled out, effective. They swatted at him with almost comedic weakness, but he didn’t want to find out what would happen if they grabbed him. He got three or four good hits in and stepped back out of their range.

More arms—they seemed to appear and disappear at will, all over the thing’s body—wrapped themselves around the sphere. The butterfly beat its wings with surprising force, the wind actually making him stumble a moment, and it lifted the sphere abruptly into the air.

Oh hell no. He leapt into the air and severed five or six arms. The sphere dropped with a sickening crack, but it didn’t break and Yonah remained still, among arms twitching like lizard tails. This close, he could just see her face through its cloudy surface, her eyes closed in sleep, her long eyelashes almost touching her cheeks. Why do they always want to take her away from him? Cowards. He was going to gut this thing. 

The butterfly chittered with frustration and flew higher. The bullet storm returned and Nier saw that Yonah’s sphere deflected them as easily as the Shade’s claws. He ducked behind the sphere as cover, hoping Yonah would understand; it was easier than dancing around the mess of bullets filling the chamber.

This should be easier than it was, but he had almost no manoeuvrability with all the crap on the floor, and no damn range to deal with a flyer. He should have brought a spear. A short sword was all he could handle climbing a mountain with Yonah on his back and a ruined arm, but he still cursed himself. 

“We can’t just hug the walls.” Emil had managed to navigate the magical attack to crouch next to him, while he’d been spacing out. “Its wings create too much wind, it’s too hard to stay on my feet. If only I could float, huh?”

“Hm.”

“Heh.” Emil smiled at Nier’s blasé reaction to his bad joke. “It’s okay, I really do have all my magic—”

“Attacking its wings works. Keep doing that and I’ll run it down eventually.”

“But you’re so tired, and, and if I aim upwards I won’t hurt anyone else—“

“Dammit, it could hurt you! I’m not letting you do that! Not when something’s finally gone your way for once!” 

Emil stared at him, his mouth agape.

Nier hadn’t meant to yell, though at least he knew he heard him above the deluge of magic bullets. “Sorry. It’ll be okay. Just—“

The butterfly Shade landed upon the sphere again and it shuddered behind their backs. The hordes of hands reached out for them. Emil yelped as they grabbed his hair but he wrenched himself away and ran. Nier tried to run with him and his feet flailed in the air; they had a better hold of the stupid damn cloak and were lifting him up with Yonah, probably to dash them both against the ground.

He really didn’t feel like another long drop. He deftly flipped the sword in his hand and stabbed it upwards, above his head, twisted, tore it out; that was enough for it to let go. He landed awkwardly and rolled out of its reach as best he could.

But it was still rising, dammit, and it still had the sphere. Emil’s blasts tore at its wings but it was getting clever, flapping around the Crucible in an erratic pattern and dodging the bolts of energy flung its way. Emil’s smaller homing attacks hit home, but weren’t strong enough to halt its flight.

It alighted on one of the intact walkways, let go of the sphere—out of their reach—and descended. Without the extra weight, it gracefully flitted back and forth. Thinking of the best way to kill the enemy, just like Nier was.

“What should I do!?” Despite his reassurance earlier, Emil was still looking to him for guidance. Maybe he’d have to go deeper into the destructive power within him, but Nier remembered what happened last time and… and he didn’t want to risk that. Especially now Yonah was up there too. Emil must have realised that as well… Dammit… think, dammit....

“Nier, what do I do!??”

_Ding!_

A light flash above the elevator doors he had dismissed. They slid open of their own accord, no swords required.

A tall, thin man in a long robe walked out. “Ah, elevators,” he remarked, as if to himself. “One of humanity’s greatest achievements.”

“Who the _hell_ are you?”

The man smiled. Clearly he found something very funny about this. Nier gritted his teeth. Weird, he didn’t normally want to hit strangers the very moment he saw them, what was it about this guy?

“Sorry,” Emil said, “He’s the nicest person I know, but we’re kind of, uh, busy—“

“Yeah, so how ‘bout you tell us after you you help us kill this bastard?”

“Very well, then!” the man said, rubbing his hands together as if to warm them. That’s it, he sounded just like Weiss, and had the same stuffy, imperious vibe Nier wouldn’t take from anyone else. Sure, he was a human, looked a little older than he was, but the lines in his face and his sharp cheekbones, and the way his mouth set downward in perpetual disapproval once he stopped grinning—it was so familiar it made Nier’s brain itch.

Same milky, pupil-less grey eyes, too. That was weird. Maybe an android. Gods, an android is the last thing on the cursed planet he wanted to deal with right now. Maybe if he and the Shade got into a fight, they could sneak Yonah off—

“Maybe this will jog your memory,” the stranger said. He regarded the butterfly for a moment, and lifted his right hand. He wore long sleeves with elaborate silver cufflinks, another grating similarity, and white gloves. He traced the butterfly’s erratic movement with his index finger and was muttering again. “ _Lepidoptera papilionidae... parnassius_? No matter.”

His hand flared into dark energy, almost like a Shade’s, but crimson laced with black. The butterfly checked itself mid-flight, like a double take. It tucked its wings back and dove towards the man, less like a butterfly and more like a Shade.

A huge, ethereal spear formed above the man’s head. “Pin through thorax at point between wings.” 

The spear flew through the air, impaled the butterfly and slammed it high into the wall of the Crucible. It writhed and screamed, blood pouring like a waterfall down the wall’s tiling.

Emil gasped. “Weiss???”

“What a distasteful hobby,” the man said. “I can only assume butterflies didn’t bleed so much.”

“Weiss, is that really you??” Emil was accepting what they just saw a lot more easily than Nier was. Nier suspected he’d finally gone crazy. He had a feeling it would happen sooner or later. There was no way what he was seeing and hearing was possible, even in his own messed-up life. That, or the butterfly was slurping up his intestines and he’s dreaming one last time. Stupid Forest of Myth. 

The Dark Lance faded and the Shade fell to the ground. Nier could hear the eerie sound Weiss always made when converting blood to energy, like a dying gasp. 

The Shade wasn’t done yet. It crawled like a real dying bug would on its human arms, and drew its wings upon itself into a vivid tight golden-striped ball. Like it was trying to go back to being a caterpillar. 

“Well?” It had to be Weiss. That strange sound convinced him. “What are you waiting for?”

Nier snapped out of it, brandished his sword and prepared to run at the Shade. No sense wasting an opportunity—

The Shade’s arms shot out beyond any arm’s length toward him. Nier kept moving, diving sideways out of the way. A spine shot past and caught him on the way down. it was skin-deep, but enough to convince him to double back.

The Shade drew the spines back into itself slowly, threateningly. Nier had an unpleasant memory of Grimoire Noir backstabbing him with something very similar. Today was just full of nostalgia. He was coming to terms with this crazy situation, probably, being real. He could tell because he felt the emotion he always felt in these situations: baffled irritation.

“It’s regenerating, or preparing a stronger attack,” Weiss said, standing besides him and Emil. “Either way, we must strike quickly!”

“This might be a bad time to ask, but how did you get here and why the hell do you look like that?”

“Hey, that’s not very tactful,” Emil interjected.

“This is just….” Nier rubbed a hand over his face. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate until he had a moment to vent. “Look, Emil, your new body is a huge shock, and you weren’t dead to start with. So how did Weiss manage it?”

“Weiss will tell you once he helps you kill that bastard, shall he?” Weiss snapped.

He was enjoying this way too much, Nier could tell. He had to think of a way to take him down a peg. “Guess you can’t insist on being called Grimoire any more.”

“We’ll see about that.” Weiss’s hands flared into their phantom forms again. “Look.”

The Shade throbbed, waiting. Its surface trembled and Nier could see the spines below its surface, tensed to strike.

“I could attack again of my own accord,” Weiss said. “But I feel teamwork is the key here. Listen, Nier, did you hear the words?”

“… yeah. Yeah, those weird sounds, I heard them.”

“Then the pact remains! Use my power as you best see fit.”

“Uh, will you be okay?” It was one thing using a floating, talking, rude book he found in a temple. It was another to use an abruptly-resurrected old friend in the shape of a human.

“Of course! My… vessel will not be affected.” Weiss lifted the dark hands he had manifested like a second pair of gloves. “It is my immense power I am lending to you.”

Good to see his immense ego hadn’t changed. “Alright. Emil, when you see them, attack the spines. Ready?”

“Yeah!” Emil’s eyes were shining. Excitement, determination or about to cry with joy? Hard to say.

Nier focused on the Shade before him. It shifted, waiting. That place in his head that when he saw Weiss, he could feel something there. An old link, reconnected.

His awareness extended outwards from him, sensing his friends by his side, the debris surrounding him, his target before him, Yonah waiting for him.

The Shade broke first and its spines shot towards them, at least twenty, Emil fired bolts into a few and they fell to the ground like bits of string, and the remainder headed straight for Nier.

A dozen blood red Niers leapt to meet them, cutting them out of the air. The real Nier weaved through them and unstopped, he plunged his sword deep into the Shade.

It screamed at him, and kept screaming its fury as he braced his leg on its surface and sawed his sword upward through its shell

Gods, Shades made an awful noise. He shut that part of his heart off. He didn’t need to wonder if it was saying anything, or just screaming. That wasn’t important. All that mattered was cutting it until its spines disintegrated around him and it fell silent, a husk full of blood and the thick, wispy black substance Shades were made of.

“More brute force than I expected.” Weiss gave a curt nod. "But effective.”

“Whew!” Emil wiped his brow and sat on one of the smaller machines. “I think that’s all of them. For now, anyway.”

Nier thought Emil had the right idea, but if he stopped now he’d probably sleep for a day. Weiss, on the other hand, stood stock straight with his arms by his sides like they were tied there. “Weiss, you mind doing me a favour and helping Yonah down? She’s in that sphere… thing. Be careful.”

Dark Fists were a Sealed Verse they had used often. It was strange to see the giant phantom hands unfurl their fingers, and cradle Yonah as they lifted her down carefully in front of Nier.

Yonah looked… intact, for lack of a better word. Nier could finally relax a little. “Thanks. So… how did you come back to life, as a human, with the Sealed Verses?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Weiss replied airily. “I regained consciousness in the chamber above, with Shades crawling through the door. Learning how legs work and using the Verses came quickly to me, fortunately. I should have known you were here for your daughter’s sake.”

“We wanted to cure her,” Emil said. “You and I were… a surprise.”

“I’m glad to see you.” Nier said. “Both of you.” He didn’t take his eyes off Yonah. What if she were dead, preserved like a hand in a jar? Ugh, why did he think things like that. He could hear Emil and Weiss chatting, like they always used to, behind him. 

“Is something wrong? You look… tense.”

“For longer than you—than for most people can comprehend, I concerned myself only with matters of grave import. My form stood me apart from humanity’s foibles and frailty. And now I am resurrected, within a flimsy mortal shell! Opposable thumbs are a poor recompense.”

“Wow, that’s a negative way to look at it. You can do all sorts of fun things!”

It was weird. Nier had been so, so scared coming here, of what might happen if he didn’t get here in time or if something went wrong, so scared that when he stopped to think about it he wanted to scream or vomit or go back to the house in Seafront and curl up in a ball

“I don’t know how you can stand it, to be honest,” Weiss said to Emil. “All this flesh, and pores, and this ceaseless pounding in my chest.”

“You see, when that stops, you know you have a problem.”

“Alright guys,” I’m really happy for you, but cram it for a second.” Nier placed his hands on the surface of the sphere. Brute force clearly didn’t work. Maybe this would. “Yonah, wake up.”

A few snowflakes fell through the ruined basin, past the walkways, onto the sphere. Emil and Weiss were silent. Nier could hear the wind circling the mountain.

“You’re safe now,” he whispered. “I’m here. We’ve got you.”

Nier lifted his hands away from the sphere. His gloves were damp and freezing. Two small holes had formed where they’d been, growing larger by the moment. Thick cloudy mist escaped from the sphere, dissipating around him.

Yonah opened her eyes. The rest of the sphere melted within a few seconds then, the strange ice melting under her feet so quickly she didn’t even stumble. It had been weeks since she had been able to stand on her own….

She rubbed her eyes. “Dad, I had…” She yawned widely. “I had the weirdest dream… but I can’t remember it any more.”

Nier didn’t want to get his hopes up too fast. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, the cure! I can barely remember it….” She took a deep breath through her nose and her whole face scrunched up. “Ugh, it smells gross… but I’m not coughing. Hey, I’m not coughing! I’m not even tired! Oh, who are you?”

She’d spotted Emil and Weiss. Emil looked away, suddenly bashful. “Um… it’s me.”

“Emil?? Wow.” Yonah approached him, stepping carefully over the junk on the ground. She regarded Emil, then gently took his hand. She traced a finger experimentally over his his palm. “Can you feel this?”

“Yeah. I could before, you know, but it’s… different.”

She thought for a moment, then jammed her hands under his armpits and tickled furiously. He shrieked with laughter and tried to bat her hands away, which turned into the two of dancing around each other and laughing like little kids. 

“We’re cured!” Yonah cried. “We’re both cured! Dad, we did it!”

“I don’t know what manner of chaos you unleashed this time, but it looks like it worked,” Weiss said, pride in his voice.

“Oh, wow!” Yonah leapt towards Weiss and wrapped her hands around his waist. “Weissy! You’re back too!”

Weiss reacted to Yonah wrapping her arms around him much like a tree would. “W… Weissy?”

Nier grinned. “Hey, she recognised you right away.”

“Pah.” Weiss looked down at the girl hugging him, trying not to look pleased. “You should go to your father. He’s had a trying day.”

Now she ran towards him and he lifted her in his arms and held her tight. She’d been curled up and suffering for so long, he had forgotten how tall she was now. “We both did it,” he said, his voice hitching a little. “I said we’d do this together, didn’t I?”

“Yeah! Can we visit the strange noisy city again? I want to see it!”

“Sorry, we’re taking a different route. Easier this time. Just a day of walking, then a boat back to Seafront. We’ll visit the Western continent another time, when you’re feeling stronger. Come on, we better get going before the snow comes back.”

Weird. He was happy. He knew he was deliriously happy, but he didn’t feel happy, even with his daughter in his arms, alive and healthy. Shock, maybe? Disbelief?

“Seafront, hm?” Weiss sniffed. “Is that where the hussy is waiting for us?”

“Oh. Uh…”

Weiss got the message remarkably quickly.“Oh. Oh, I… I see.” He crossed his arms, his perpetual frown deepening. 

Emil’s gaze turned upward, like she would jump down and cuss them out at any moment. “It’s not really fair, is it?”

“No, it’s okay,” Yonah said without hesitation, even before Nier could start to think of what to say to that. “Kainé is already here with us. Isn’t that right, Dad?”

If Kainé really were here, it’d be perfect. Maybe that why he felt so muted. “Yeah, that’s right,” he said.

He sheathed his sword and glanced about the ruins of the Crucible. The Shades had mostly dissolved. Even the butterfly’s remains would be gone soon.

He had thought a lot about Kainé. For a while, it was all he could think about. He pieced together what he knew about her, figured out things were worse for her than he could even imagine, even before the Shade possessed her. He wouldn’t be surprised if the light offered her a new body and she told it to fuck off. She deserved to rest. Wanting her back was selfish, really, when she’d been through so much, when….

When she knew what Shades were the entire time. Just like he did now. 

He regarded the butterfly, now a ruined cocoon left to decompose. It wasn’t a demon or a force of nature. It was human, or something like it. He was a murderer. He killed so many people. To get to this point—Yonah alive, and herself—he killed over and over again.

He’d saved Yonah, at last. But he would have to keep killing. He couldn’t avoid it. It was the only way to keep her safe. The world was still dying, the Shades still existed, and he still was the one who killed the Shadowlord. 

To have two of his friends back—that was more than he deserved. He’d keep fighting as long as he could, for all of them. Maybe one day, even if it was the last day of his life, he’d be able to relax, feel the happiness Yonah and Emil shared.

For now, seeing everyone so happy would be good enough for him. 

He’d like to talk to Kainé about this. But, she was dead, so. He would just have to deal with that. He’d get along by himself. He managed it so far, after all. Enough self-pity. Didn’t he just say he was being selfish? It was time to leave this place.

“Right.” He put his hand around Yonah’s shoulders. “Hey, the great Grimoire Weiss, you figured out how to the use the elevator, right?”

“I can tell you’re mocking me. But yes, and good thing too. This walking business is tricky, I don’t fancy trying climbing yet.”

“Oh boy,” Emil laughed, “Wait until you see what’s outside.”

* * *

> 
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't make a habit of these notes, but I just wanted to add, it may seem like I left Kainé forgotten at the back of the refrigerator. Rest assured she'll be in this story, and not in a flashback. You can't keep her down that easily. Where is she and when will she return? That'd be telling!
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter took so long, hopefully the next one will come much quicker. I may make some updates to formatting and any minor edits for readability that are required. If I have time, I'll also include some fanart in future chapters.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. [AUTHOR NOTE]

Sorry for the not-chapter; since I have flaked out on my intended update schedule again I wanted to write a note to make it clear I haven't already abandoned this. The next chapters are in progress and I have most of the story outlined, so it's not a case of not knowing what to write. 

I alluded to this before, but there are multiple real life issues making writing even more difficult than I expected it to be. I'm a slow and persnickety writer at the best of times but I'm barely managing to feed myself properly right now, let alone find the time and energy to write fanfic. One way or another, things will be resolved soon, but by 'soon' I can't be more specific than 'sometime within the next month'. I'll keep writing as much as I can but updates may be sporadic for a while longer. 

I feel a bit weird writing a note like this when this only has two chapters anyway, my writing has flaws and the fandom is so tiny. But I know some people are hanging out for an update and I feel bad promising a long plotty fic (which are rare in every fandom I've had an interest in but especially Nier) and then not delivering. I'll do my best with what I have.

Also if anyone can suggest any websites to post update notices on that would be super, I have a tumblr but I honestly have no idea what the kids use these days pff

This note will be deleted when Chapter 3 is posted.


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